Tomorrow, my firstborn turns 19! As a mom, it feels like each year my children reach a new age, I’m witnessing a new version of them being born. Each birthday reveals a different side of her or showcases a new aspect of her personality. She is my first child, and every time we celebrate her birthday, it feels like my first experience with that age. I wonder what 19 will hold for her and what lessons it will teach me. How will this year change me, and in what ways will it help me grow? Just when I feel like I know her completely, I find myself meeting a whole new person.
We are so different, yet so alike. She embodies my past, while I represent her future. I once experienced youth just like her, but she doesn’t know that about me. She might see who I’m becoming, but she doesn’t fully understand who I was. I’ve watched her grow, but I have no idea who she will ultimately become. I know her better than she knows herself, yet there’s still so much about her that I don’t understand. Sometimes it feels like we are worlds apart, but our shared similarities keep us connected.
She teaches me and helps me uncover things I didn’t know about myself, and we are both part of each other’s growth process—even if we don’t always realize it! I wonder if our paths will ever align perfectly. Perhaps they won’t fully align, but I believe they will continue to come closer together.
Life has shaped her identity: the oldest of four, half Israeli, half Italian, interfaith, a cousin, a niece, a granddaughter, a friend, a girl friend, a high school graduate, a college student. But when you strip away these labels, who is she at her core and who is she going to be?
As a child, I taught her the ABCs and 123s, what was safe and what wasn’t. I shared rules and regulations, showed her how to be kind, and guided her in prayer. I can try my best to plan her future and express what I believe is best for her, but ultimately, those are lessons she must learn on her own. Discovering who she is becoming is her unique journey.
Happy 19th birthday, Isabel! I am so proud to be your mom and can’t wait to get to know you as a 19-year-old!
