The Birth of a Nineteen Year Old

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Tomorrow, my firstborn turns 19! As a mom, it feels like each year my children reach a new age, I’m witnessing a new version of them being born. Each birthday reveals a different side of her or showcases a new aspect of her personality. She is my first child, and every time we celebrate her birthday, it feels like my first experience with that age. I wonder what 19 will hold for her and what lessons it will teach me. How will this year change me, and in what ways will it help me grow? Just when I feel like I know her completely, I find myself meeting a whole new person.

We are so different, yet so alike. She embodies my past, while I represent her future. I once experienced youth just like her, but she doesn’t know that about me. She might see who I’m becoming, but she doesn’t fully understand who I was. I’ve watched her grow, but I have no idea who she will ultimately become. I know her better than she knows herself, yet there’s still so much about her that I don’t understand. Sometimes it feels like we are worlds apart, but our shared similarities keep us connected.

She teaches me and helps me uncover things I didn’t know about myself, and we are both part of each other’s growth process—even if we don’t always realize it! I wonder if our paths will ever align perfectly. Perhaps they won’t fully align, but I believe they will continue to come closer together.

Life has shaped her identity: the oldest of four, half Israeli, half Italian, interfaith, a cousin, a niece, a granddaughter, a friend, a girl friend, a high school graduate, a college student. But when you strip away these labels, who is she at her core and who is she going to be?

As a child, I taught her the ABCs and 123s, what was safe and what wasn’t. I shared rules and regulations, showed her how to be kind, and guided her in prayer. I can try my best to plan her future and express what I believe is best for her, but ultimately, those are lessons she must learn on her own. Discovering who she is becoming is her unique journey.

Happy 19th birthday, Isabel! I am so proud to be your mom and can’t wait to get to know you as a 19-year-old!

1990’s Couture

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I found my old sketch book from my younger days. At the time, I was living in Brooklyn, and I had to be around 11 or 12, maybe a little younger, but definitely not older, as we moved from Brooklyn when I was around 13.

For the longest time, I wanted to be a fashion designer! I wanted to live in NYC and go to the Fashion Institute of Technology. I loved fashion magazines and remember seeing vendors selling them out on the streets, down in the train stations or in the local grocery stores. My mom never purchased any magazines, so I was very excited when I got my hands on my first copy of Cosmopolitan. Not sure how I got it, maybe an older cousin or my neighbor. I can still remember slowly turning each page with anticipation. I loved the texture of the pages, the smell, and I just remember feeling so fancy. These may have been bridesmaids’ dresses. I had lots of older cousins either having sweet sixteens or getting married. It was a time of festivities. These look like fun party dresses. I remember really liking the one to the right with my chain straps. I might have wanted to be a hairstylist too! I’m loving the wide-leg pants here to the left and my chain straps again!I still can’t believe I drew a cigarette in her hand. It must have been inspired by my father, who always had a cigarette in his hands! She looked cute in her outfit.I went to a lot of weddings as a kid! I had thirty cousins in total, twelve from my mom’s side and eighteen from my dad’s side of the family. 
I can still remember a time in my life when I spent hours drawing and dreaming of a career as a fashion designer. Although I didn’t pursue that path, I still enjoy drawing and creating. I have many sketchbooks that I plan to start filling again. They say that the things you loved doing as a child often come back to you as an adult.

February Rest

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I’ve been craving rest this February, and I’ve been surprised by how it has come to me in unexpected ways.
This house is full of life; it’s vibrant and active, filled with beautiful heartbeats that need different kinds of nutrients to thrive. A beautiful thing of course. They are the most precious things to me in this world. As their center, I sometimes feel like the dashboard or central station, responsible for keeping everything running smoothly. However, I realize I need a reboot, a new battery, a new charger to charge the battery! I need a new flow of oxygen so I can continue giving my loved ones the support they need to flourish. I’m slowly shifting my priorities this year to include rest in my list of things to do. I love my list, which includes tasks like doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, and food shopping. These are all privileges that come with the dream of having a big family. God has made my dreams come true, but there’s upkeep involved. The only way to avoid exhausting myself is to find rest in between and engage in activities that nourish me. This month, I’ve been intentional about adding those things to my to-do list. I’ve started reading a book, signed up for a watercolor class (I haven’t taken an art class since college), and I’m listening to an audiobook during my car rides. I even tried water marbling, which was so much fun! I’m definitely feeling more rested, and it’s so important to refill my own well-being.

 

Let all that you do be done in love.

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I absolutely love this verse. It’s helped me to get through a lot of dirty laundry, dirty dishes, and just some things I don’t want to do. It’s helped me to stop and listen to my 6 year old tell me about his villager dying while playing Minecraft. Or stopping everything to listen to one of my daughters tell me about the day they had. It’s helped me to stop and help a stranger when I didn’t have the time. It’s helped me to admit that I might actually be wrong a lot! It’s helped me to stay up late and wash the shirt or leggings one of my children needed for the next day. This verse has supported me in raising my children, being my best as a wife, being a good employee, and hopefully being a good friend and family member. It’s guided me to listen more intently, support others, and try to be less irritated with those whom I love.

Most importantly, this verse has helped me forgive unconditionally and reminded me that we are all human and make mistakes. Above all, it encourages me to approach everything with love. I still need this verse as a daily reminder, and some days I fall short, but keeping it close to my heart helps me make kinder, more loving choices more often than not. If I could have my children remember one verse or mantra for life, this would be it.

Vision Board Night

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I hosted a vision board night with some friends and my four children to wrap up January and set our intentions for February. The evening is definitely one of my favorite memories from 2026! It was so enjoyable to combine three of my favorite activities: eating, chatting, and creating. I felt right in my element and, as a result, didn’t do much creating of my own; instead, I spent a lot of time observing the creativity around me and soaking in the atmosphere. Watching people create is one of my favorite pastimes, as it offers a glimpse into their minds. You can learn a lot about someone through what they produce, and it was truly wonderful to discover more about these extraordinary women—and my little boy, too! I actually didn’t have to purchase much for this event, as I had collected many magazines over the years, along with lots of collage paper and other embellishments for my guests to use. I provided boards, old empty picture frames, and spiral notebooks for them to choose as their base.
Having worked with young children and my own kids for many years, I had plenty of glue sticks and scissors suitable for little hands, which also worked perfectly for my adult guests! One item that I did purchase, and which was well worth it for the event, was the Lamare Vision Board Book from Amazon. It contained over 1,000 images and motivational quotes, which was more than enough for nine people to share, with plenty of images and pages left over. I also asked my guests to bring any clippings, photos, magazines, or their own journals or boards that they’d like to include. I laid everything out on a spare table and everyone was free to collect, cut, and dream away!
I loved watching my daughters and my son gather together, chatting, laughing, and dreaming together. The process to me is always more exciting than the final product. I did love seeing what images they were propelled to paste down on their boards. 
Isabel’s pink tones throughout her board show her planning from beginning to end. She’s going to bring this board to life from beginning to end! 
Melinas, I love her “MAKE IT HAPPEN AND SHOCK EVERYONE” quote, the funny thing is, she’s going to be the one shocked, not everyone else. We all believe in her more than she believes in herself!
Lias is focusing on getting straight A’s! Yeah! Looks like she’s got some traveling plans, fitness, and eating healthy. I love her “slow progress is still progress” quote. So true Lia! You’re wise beyond your years!I love the things you love!
and for my grand finale…
This board is so you, Liam! Money, basketball, sneakers, 2023 must have been a good year? Jesus! Love your visions, so precious!
I finally finished a page in my journal. I decided to do a journal versus a completed board. Committing to a board or feeling like I had to fill up space on a board and call it complete was too much of a commitment for this erratic, chaotic, uncertain, creative, ever-changing MIND!  I think I’m going to go month by month. I finally finished what I wanted to accomplish in January! I accomplished some of these goals, and whatever I didn’t, I can carry into February.

 

And that’s a wrap!

Winter Ambiance

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When I hear a snowstorm is on its way, I fantasize about experiencing a real-life winter ambience like those I keep playing on my tv. I think of pretty snow and the wind blowing and a fire roaring and a cappuccino on the coffee table steaming hot for hours and hours, a dog deeply breathing in and out and a random cat even though I don’t have a one. I dream I’ll be sitting cozy while reading a book and catching up on some creative project I’ve been wanting to start, but that’s not my reality these days and that’s ok. However, there were some magical moments like catching a snowflake on my jacket while walking over to feed the chickens. I put a candle I made at a friend’s house under my candle warmer. So pretty. I lit a candle in my living room, which was lovely to smell throughout the day.

Watched my kids frolic in the snow.Visited our free little libraryMade fresh tortillas. Drew pictures of a rooster and a chicken with Liam. and went on a winter night walk with Liam and Lia. I guess the day turned out better than sitting around inside a winter ambience.

Liam’s Family

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I absolutely love the picture that Liam created of our family. During one of his meetings, his teacher mentioned to me, “Liam loves his family!” We talked about how he can sometimes become a distraction to himself, and she often finds herself asking, “Liam, what is taking you so long?” He really struggles with attention span! While doing homework, he stands sideways on his chair, writes sloppily on purpose, or writes the wrong answers even when I know he knows the correct ones. It seems like he enjoys wasting time, or maybe that’s just his way of being playful and silly.

However, today he spent some focused time drawing this picture, and his teacher is right: “Liam loves his family, and that’s more important than anything else!” He values his family so much and loves being together at home. When one of us is not at the dinner table, he feels like we aren’t really having dinner and its not dinner time.

At the age of 6 he already knows what’s important to him. I hope he always remembers that as he continues on his great big journey of life.

The art of taking notes

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These are, without question, the most beautiful notes I’ve ever seen. While Isabel referred to them as “garbage,” I find myself wondering why she doesn’t publish them. I cannot bring myself to part with her notebook because I am in such awe of her precision.

Her note-taking is a perfect mirror of her personality: focused, organized, and scientific. Like her father, she possesses an incredible ability for analytical thought and logical sequencing, those “left-brain” traits that provide the structure necessary to bring creative ideas to life.

My own mind works quite differently. My notes are a scattered reflection of my “right-brain” tendencies: curiosity, visualization, and big-picture thinking. I often have countless projects in motion and thoughts that surface only to be quickly buried by the next inspiration. While I’ve mastered the art of multitasking, a glance at my notes reveals the beautiful, busy chaos of my internal world. They are everywhere—in planners, brain-dump journals, on my nightstand, and even in my car.

I am always thinking, and rarely about just one thing. Even back in school, I never used a proper format or filled pages with the meticulous detail she does. Looking back, I’m not even sure what I was doing—mostly scribbling and daydreaming, I’m sure! Regardless even if she doesn’t see the value in these notes now, as her mom, I know exactly what they reveal about her and one day she will see how much I admire her.

Happy 81 years

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On December 17, 1978 I was a birthday gift you took home on your birthday, December 19th. From that day on you have been a gift to me and everyone who knows you! Hope you know how much you are loved by your family, friends and neighbors. You have a place for everyone in your heart. You’re selfless and have bounds of energy, you’re super talented and creative and with you everything is possible. Hope you had a birthday as wonderful as you!