Igniting a fire: Moving Past the Fear of the First Stroke

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I love art! I especially enjoy watching children create it. When my children were younger, we engaged in a lot of art activities together. I would lay out various supplies and let them explore their creativity. Some days, I had specific instructions or planned activities, like creating an aquarium or painting pots for their teachers. Other days, I simply allowed them to follow their own imaginations. There was always some type of art session happening at our dining room table, whether it was for my children or any niece, nephew, or neighborhood friend who came by our home.

Now that my children are older, they use the supplies to make gifts or cards for others. I also utilize these materials for my art classes at The Heart of It in Aquebogue during the summer and at the preschool where I work. Over the years, I have curated a collection of art supplies, including acrylic paints, oil pastels, Posca pens, Kwik Stix, colored tissue paper, pens, markers, crayons, canvases, all kinds of books about art and sketchbooks—Van Gogh, The ARt of Crayons, BotanicumI’ve got it all! The one thing I need to focus on now is making more art myself. I loved art as a child, but I never had supplies like these, and I often wonder what I could have created if I had more opportunities. I’ve been creative my whole life, but when I had children, my focus shifted to providing materials for them to create with. Now, I have everything I need to sit down and create, and I even have a wonderful art space in the basement. I wish we had that when the kids were younger, but it’s nice to see all the marks, scratches, and paint left on our table from the many years of art they created.

I’m starting to feel like it’s now my turn to start exploring and create. To use these supplies myself. It’s a bit scary though to just let loose like a child does. I love how children just dive right in and touch and get right down to making marks. They just dot and glide, and move their little hands across the page. No right, no wrong, no rules, no care. That’s how I want to paint. All a child needs is a piece of paper and a crayon, and they light up and start creating. I, on the other hand, have every tool imaginable but struggle to sit down and make a mark. My excuse most days is that I’m a busy mom with no time, but the truth is, I just need to create something, and that doesn’t require much time. I only need a few minutes each day. Above all, I need to ignite a spark! Like that day on the porch! I embraced the moment and went for it.

It’s like having all the firewood needed to create a beautiful fire but lacking a match to light it. Many of us can relate to this feeling. We gather all the gear for skiing but never plan a ski trip, we buy every fishing pole but never cast a line, and we prepare the perfect resume but never press the send button.

It’s time to move forward. I don’t need any more supplies or firewood—it’s time to sit back and enjoy the fire.

Mixed Media Art

Porchside Afternoon Art

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I have been craving time to paint this whole summer. With all of the kids home, I was constantly distracted or just completely unfocused, almost frozen, like I couldn’t start painting because I knew I’d be interrupted or pulled away by someone or something, so I never even set out my paints or canvases. But last night I was thinking to myself, “Hey, just take out a canvas and when you get home from work, just make a mark! So when I got home, I settled in, checked that everyone was ok and busy with their own thing. I grabbed my canvas and paints, and snuck out to the porch and let my intuition guide my color selection and brush strokes. It felt so good to feel my hands glide up and down and watch the paint color the canvas. I had no intentions, no idea what I wanted to put there, but as soon as I opened my art caddy, my hand reached for the blue acrylic paint and a large brush, and it danced across the canvas. Next, it called a lighter blue, then a purple, followed by a gold, and they each took turns gliding and dancing across the canvas, working together to create a field of color.  I found bubble wrap in my caddy, dipped it in the paint, and added some marks onto the canvas. I also grabbed a palette knife and made some marks with that. Just gliding my hand up and down, adding the blue paint, already felt like success. I had no agenda, no plan, I just wanted to make some marks with paint and a brush, and that’s what I did. As usual, my husband tried to find images in the painting, searching for meaning and logic, he can’t just enjoy the beauty of the marks. I, on the other hand, see the beauty of the colors playing together, mingling with no pressure to be anything more than what they are. I might add some line work, I’m not sure yet. For now, I feel like it’s finished, and I feel satisfied. I have no intention of displaying this canvas. It’s not my style and never anything I would purchase. This was all about the process. I was not trying to get anywhere or create a product this was just an exercise for my soul, and wow, did I feel satisfied at the end of the day! 

20×20 Mixed Media Acrylic Canvas

Life is Better in the Coop: My Backyard Happy Place

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Chicken Coop surrounded by raised wooden garden bed and fig tree

Home Sweet Coop.

This chicken coop brings me so much joy! We’ve had chickens for at least nine years and have experienced several different types of coops. Unfortunately, we’ve also dealt with our share of chickens being senselessly attacked by raccoons.

A wild turkey standing outside a wooden chicken coop next to a raised garden bed

A Turkey came to visit our girls in the coop.

About two years ago, after a raccoon attack left us with only one surviving hen, Amir built a coop. We decided to give that remaining chicken to my mom, where she joined her new flock. Amir constructed the entire house and the coop inside it. This year, he added garden boxes, which helped complete the coop. I love it so much! We planted wildflowers in the raised wooden planter, and it brings me such joy to watch the flowers grow and bloom every day. Each morning, I discover a new little gem. The flowers are small but full of vibrant color. I absolutely love them!

Violet flower growing in raised wooden garden bed near chicken coop

Spotting hidden gems in the garden.

Colorful Petals and Leaves.

Wild flowers growing in raised wooden garden bed near the chicken coop

More hidden gems.

Our Little Peach Grove.

Two years ago, we planted two peach trees, and this year they are overflowing with peaches. The peaches are small, and we still have a lot to learn about how to protect and grow them so that we can actually enjoy eating them. I remember my cousin’s grandmother used to have a beautiful peach tree, and when I would sleep over at her house, we would wake up early in the morning, rush downstairs, and head straight to the screened-in porch in the backyard to sink our teeth into those juicy peaches. I also recall my father and all of my uncles adding sliced peaches to their glasses of red wine.glasses of red wine.

We also add little twinkling solar lights that make me giddy and joyous when they come on at night. Looks so beautiful and charming; I hope the little ladies love it as much as I do.

Solar lights draped around chicken coop at night.

Twinkling coop

I’ve wanted chickens my whole life. My aunt Ninfa used to have a flock in the garage of her Brooklyn home. And I always wanted my own. My dad did let my brother and me get baby chicks when we lived in our own Brooklyn apartment, but we didn’t have any yard space or a garage, so the little chicks grew up in our hallway until they got too big, and one day they were gone. I’m not sure where or what my father did with them. I know he gave them away; I just don’t know to whom. Anyway, since those early years, I always said I’d have my own flock, and Amir as usual, helped to make that dream come true.

Trusting the Process: Today’s Abstract Experiment

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I’ve been meaning to photograph the beginning of my process as proof to me that things go through some ugly stages before they turn beautiful. Some pieces I’ve been working on I had thought of throwing away and they became my favorite. And I wish I had take a picture of it when I didnt like it so much.

A pristine blank white canvas block resting flat on a studio table with early paint tests

Every project begins with a clean slate. Prepping the work surface and testing the first drops of pigment. I like keeping some reference materials close by.

Why do we do that? Take pictures of something when it’s in its final stage? Or when we are happy with it and ready to show it. There’s such beauty in that growing part of it.

Close up of a painting in progress showing a light vertical wash of blue paint drying on raw textured white paper.

Laying down the primary composition lanes using blue washes. I start with acrylic paint and sometimes I wash over some watercolors.

The awkward and the uncertain part. The part where I’m like “where is this going to go?”.
So today I said, I want to be a witness to my own process so I can prove to myself that things can always be tweaked and changed and sometimes need to get ugly before they can transform into something beautiful!

Abstract studio artwork showing dense vertical washes of emerald green, blue, and light yellow acrylic paints on heavy paper.

Adding depth through deep green and teal washes to create an organic, atmospheric feel.

An abstract painting featuring bold vertical brush strokes of yellow and green layered over a blue and white background on paper.

Building up vertical texture layers, letting bright yellows ground the base of the piece.

Life often feels like a process, doesn’t it? We tend to rush through the difficult parts, eager to reach the enjoyable moments. We can’t wait for our kids to grow up, for renovations to be completed, or for our vegetables to be ready for harvest. We look forward to dinner being served and laundry being done, constantly hurrying through these stages. Yet, it’s important to remember that the process itself is what truly matters. That’s where the true beauty and magic can be found. These are the most important aspects to witness, allowing you to see how far you’ve come and how much you or something has grown.

A colorful watercolor paint palette next to blue and yellow acrylic wash paintinh

Added a light watercolor wash over the acrylic paintMixed Media Acrylic painting of a whimsical floral meadow featuring yellow tulips and purple blossoms against a textured blue and gold night sky.

Mixed Media Acrylic painting

Mixed Media Acrylic painting of a whimsical floral meadow featuring yellow tulips. This is still unfinished to me, and I’m sure it might change completely once Im really done with it. We shall see.

Finding beauty in my bicolor petunia

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They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but during a Mother’s Day trip to the local nursery with my family, I found out just how subjective “beauty” can really be.
The moment I saw this striking bicolor petunia, I was totally captivated. I loved the high contrast drama of its deep, velvety purple black center bleeding into those pale, creamy yellow borders. To me, it looked like a moody, mesmerizing piece of living art.
My family, however, saw something entirely different.
In fact, they instantly called it the “bubonic plague!”
They were completely baffled by my choice, unable to comprehend how anyone could love a plant so dark and untraditional. But that’s the magic of gardening sometimes the most rewarding blooms are the ones that lean into the dramatic, dark, and beautifully unusual.
I’m officially embracing this plant! It makes me so happy and I’m still in love with its beautiful dark, rich color. The younger me would definitely have not fought for this plant. I used to be a people pleaser up to not long ago. I would have typically abandoned my love for the plant or had changed my mind to please everyone especially since I was the only one who liked it! Everyone else, my husband and four kids all hated it and I’m so proud for sticking to my guns on this one! It’s makes me so happy every time I see it!

Where I’ve been gathering my inspiration from lately

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Spring and summer are such inspiring seasons for me. I don’t have to go far, the blooms and beauty that surrounds my home is breathtaking. I tell my son “ god is an artist” and he says “how do you know?” And I say “ look around. Look at all of these colors, who else could create such beautiful things!”Some times it’s all so overwhelming! I want to capture each and every shape and color and I have to pause and remind myself that it’s already in front of me and there’s nothing to capture, I just need to sit back and enjoy it! So many nooks and crannies to discover and get lost in! This to me is the best childhood playground! Greens so vibrant and breathtaking! It’s like standing in a library of books and wanting to read each and every book. I stand here and I want to look at every growing thing, up close and personal and there’s just not enough time. Or is there, and we just don’t make enough time for it? Sitting down and using what’s around me for inspiration has allowed me to slow down a little and make more time for observations and appreciation for the beauty that nature provides. 

The Art of Transformation: Lessons from My First Mixed Media Canvas

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I love being a witness to transformation. I’ve recently been paying attention to my own transformation into becoming more artistic. It’s similar to the transformation of the pieces I’ve been painting. I start with a blank canvas, and then I start with a light layer, then another, and another, then I add a mark or a gesture. More color, lines and other elements that give it more balance. All the while I’m discovering that this is similar to human transformation. We are just layers of days and years that have past. If you were able to tear the layers down you will find where you first began. Its so easy to forget that first layer. The most basic, the starting point. Every day others see us and sometimes we look finished, but they dont know what we were like before that last layer and they might not like the next layer we add on.

Vibrant green mixed Media painting with layered organic flower pods, tropical leaves, and detailed white line work.

My finished mixed Media canvas, featuring vibrant greens, botanical pods, and white ink details.

Others see us and sometimes perceive us as finished, but they often don’t recognize what we were like before that last layer, nor do they know how they might feel about the next layer we add on. Just like in art, our growth is inspired by other artists and techniques, similar to how we develop as individuals. As children, we absorb influences from the people around us, and pieces of them become entwined within us, much like an artwork we create.

With these thoughts on transformation swirling in my mind, I stared down at my very first mixed-media canvas. It was intimidating to make that first mark, but I reminded myself that every mistake would just become a hidden, beautiful layer of the final piece.

Through the pieces I’ve created, I’ve witnessed how we can change from ugly to beautiful, from quiet to loud. We can improve, we can transform. This process gives me insight into the lives of others and how the surface we see does not always reflect who they have been. They have changed, they too possess layers we haven’t seen. How did they reach this point? What experiences shaped them along the way? Were there spills and splatters, bumps and holes? Transformation is beautiful to observe, it is both messy and magnificent.

It’s funny, or perhaps surprising, when I look at this piece. I find myself thinking, “How did it get here?” I can’t believe I created this. It was entirely unplanned and stemmed from an intuitive process. I began with a blank piece of 5 x 7 watercolor paper and decided to keep some acrylic paints in my dining room for spontaneous painting opportunities. The green tube caught my attention, so I squeezed some paint onto my tray and started applying it as a background. It felt almost as if my hand glided up and down the page without any specific intention, simply moving freely. I allowed the paint to fall wherever it wanted. In the spots that remained white from the brush not having enough paint on it as it made its way up and down, I decided to open up my watercolors and add a variation of greens and yellows over the green acrylic paint.

The background felt so alive. The next most natural step that pulled me was to add pops of color through some organic shapes. I played with different shapes, textures, and earthy tones—deep browns, plums, and vibrant magentas. Some shapes got a solid coat of opaque paint, while others received intricate patterns, like the brown pod with scale like textures right in the center.

This is where the true magic happened, and the piece began to come together. I used paint pens and fine brushes to add white and gold line work over the dry blocks of paint. I traced the outlines of the petals, etched delicate veins into the green leaves, and added tiny whimsical dots.

I am so proud of this piece. I felt as if I was in a trance, and I don’t think I could recreate it, even if I wanted to. I really enjoyed this process; it was freeing and relaxing. I can honestly say I was completely lost in the moment. I think I might add some final touches, but it feels pretty finished to me.

How to Make DIY Tiny Doodle Books

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I remember my younger days, sitting on the floor of our living room in Brooklyn. I can still picture myself, long hair, legs sprawled out, surrounded by paper and scissors. I loved creating things. I didn’t have much, but with paper, scissors, and crayons, I had everything I needed. I could create anything I wanted—a story, a picture, or paper dolls. I always cherished an empty sheet of paper or a sketchbook, and my mom always made sure I had one to fill.

Like every other child I’ve ever known, I adored tiny things—little pieces of paper, little pencils, and little books. I was especially fond of the tiny matchbooks my father used to light his cigarettes. 

This past Valentine’s Day, I wanted to give the children I work with at preschool a special little gift. It was a last-minute idea, I usually have plenty of small trinkets or leftover party supplies from my own kids, but this time, I didn’t have enough of anything. So, I sat down near all my art supplies and asked myself, “What do I have a lot of?” It was clear that I had a lot of paper! 

I had white paper, colored paper, and pretty printed paper, so I decided to make the children little tiny doodle books. I took several sheets of white paper—about three or four stacks—cut them into four strips, and then cut the strips in half. I stacked five to six sheets together and folded them into a little book. I did the same thing with the decorated paper to create covers, then stapled everything together. I even used my label printer to create a little blurb for the back.

In total, I made 18 little books! I hope the children were delighted with them.

Mess-Free and Soothing: Water marbling Craft for All Ages

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I feel incredibly satisfied when I engage in creative activities with my kids. The key is to drop everything else and focus entirely on the art project I promised to do with them. When I do this, it feels as if time freezes or stretches, almost as if time doesn’t exist in that moment. Something magical happens with time; I can’t fully explain it, but it’s a wonderful experience. I need to make more choices like that without worrying about whether the grocery shopping will get done or if I’ll finish folding and putting away the laundry. Who cares anyway? The kids don’t, so why should I! I’ve been promising Liam that we would try this new water marbling kit I purchased a couple of weeks ago. I discovered it while reading The Lost Arts. I started reading this weekly newsletter after setting my intention to spend more time creating this year. It’s already inspired me to do many things, including reading more books and possibly listening to audiobooks since that might be easier for me to achieve. I can listen in my car, as I’m currently in a “driving in my car” phase. I had never heard of water marbling, but it definitely caught my attention. Now that I’ve tried it, I absolutely love it! I kept the kit out on a spare table, and the kids and I went back and forth experimenting whenever time allowed. This is actually what I liked about this set. It’s called the Marbling Paint Kit, and it can be found on Amazon. I’m sure there are better products out there, but this one is great for anyone wanting to experiment and just have some fun with it. The process is so cool and soothing. You just need an inch-deep pan or you can use any bowl, but the pan is easier—especially one that fits 8.5 x 11 paper. Of course, you can cut down paper, or if you have smaller paper, that works too. You begin by adding water to the pan and letting it settle until it is no longer moving. Then, you squeeze a drop of paint into the water and watch what it does. It’s tranquil and lovely to see the paint’s movement. What I enjoy about this process is that I don’t feel any pressure to be creative or to think of myself as an artist. The water and the paint do most of the work. We simply picked the colors we liked and dropped them into the water. After the color settles, you squeeze in another drop of paint wherever you choose. You can let it be, or you can grab a little stick to swirl the paint or blow it around—be as creative as you feel! When you are happy with your creation, you gently drop a piece of paper onto the water and let it sit for 30 seconds.
I’m absolutely in love with this process and recommend it to anyone exploring their artistic side this year. I also loved that this is another activity that brought my kids to the table, the younger one and the older ones. 

To My Oldest Child on her 19th Birthday

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Tomorrow, my firstborn turns 19! As a mom, it feels like each year my children reach a new age, I’m witnessing a new version of them being born. Each birthday reveals a different side of her or showcases a new aspect of her personality. She is my first child, and every time we celebrate her birthday, it feels like my first experience with that age. I wonder what 19 will hold for her and what lessons it will teach me. How will this year change me, and in what ways will it help me grow? Just when I feel like I know her completely, I find myself meeting a whole new person.

We are so different, yet so alike. She embodies my past, while I represent her future. I once experienced youth just like her, but she doesn’t know that about me. She might see who I’m becoming, but she doesn’t fully understand who I was. I’ve watched her grow, but I have no idea who she will ultimately become. I know her better than she knows herself, yet there’s still so much about her that I don’t understand. Sometimes it feels like we are worlds apart, but our shared similarities keep us connected.

She teaches me and helps me uncover things I didn’t know about myself, and we are both part of each other’s growth process—even if we don’t always realize it! I wonder if our paths will ever align perfectly. Perhaps they won’t fully align, but I believe they will continue to come closer together.

Life has shaped her identity: the oldest of four, half Israeli, half Italian, interfaith, a cousin, a niece, a granddaughter, a friend, a girl friend, a high school graduate, a college student. But when you strip away these labels, who is she at her core and who is she going to be?

As a child, I taught her the ABCs and 123s, what was safe and what wasn’t. I shared rules and regulations, showed her how to be kind, and guided her in prayer. I can try my best to plan her future and express what I believe is best for her, but ultimately, those are lessons she must learn on her own. Discovering who she is becoming is her unique journey.

Happy 19th birthday, Isabel! I am so proud to be your mom and can’t wait to get to know you as a 19-year-old!